Chapter 23

Faced with Ye Ji’an’s businesslike attitude, Roman remained unflustered. “We really need to talk, and it won’t take long. You can certainly go back to your meeting,” he said, setting down his cup and wiping the milk foam from his lips. “Haha, actually, I just got out of the detention center. I arrived in Beijing just three days ago.”

Ye Ji’an thought to himself that Roman had come prepared, but he seemed quite sincere. “Hmm.” He nodded.

“Shawn is living with you now; I’ve seen it, so there’s no need to lie to me,” Roman raised his eyes and continued, “For the past three days, from the moment you walked out that door to when you entered your home, you’ve been together.”

Ye Ji’an raised an eyebrow. “So you’ve been stalking us, just like in Moscow.”

Roman comfortably leaned back in his chair. “No need to be nervous. I didn’t take any photos, nor do I want to help you come out.”

Ye Ji’an propped his elbow on his knee and rested his chin on his hand. “Haven’t you already helped?”

Roman’s expression suggested he hadn’t heard that remark. “I know Shawn doesn’t want to see me, but since I’ve met you, I think I can say a few things to help you understand him better.”

“Help me? That’s unnecessary.”

“You’ve only known each other for half a year, and it’s only been this short time since he returned home, right?” Roman smiled. “Do you know all his hobbies, habits, many aspects of his personality, and his past experiences? Have you met his family?”

The first few points didn’t bother Ye Ji’an; he always believed that the process of gradually getting to know someone was a joy, just as Liang Xiao could never know everything about him. Isn’t mutual exploration and acceptance a necessary condition for love? He wasn’t in a hurry at all. But the last point made him feel a bit uncomfortable. “You’ve met them?”

“Of course,” Roman nodded. “His father comes to see us every year, and he took me to his mother and brother’s grave in New York. We were very much in love. If it weren’t for that incident, he would have proposed to me sooner or later.”

“I see.” Ye Ji’an focused intently on him.

Roman felt a bit uneasy under Ye Ji’an’s gaze and rubbed his nose. “Do you know what that incident was?”

“You should know better than I do why you were locked up for so many years,” Ye Ji’an said slowly. “What does this have to do with Liang Xiao, and how much trouble and unhappiness did it cause him? You should know better than I do.”

Roman was taken aback.

Ye Ji’an continued, “Since you know his family so well, you must also know what happened with his mother. Yet you still went and gathered a bunch of people in his home to harm yourself? You say you love him? Did you remember that when you were doing that?”

His enunciation was clear, and his pace was quick, thanks to the practice from his daily work, yet his tone remained steady, as if he were an outsider. Roman opened his mouth, lowered his head, and silently sipped his hot cocoa. “I didn’t expect you to be the assertive type.”

“What type doesn’t matter,” Ye Ji’an glanced at his watch. “The key is that you’re still talking to me about your romantic history. I’ve already said I don’t want to spend my work time on this.”

“That is certainly important,” Roman said earnestly. “Shawn can’t be with assertive people because he himself is a control freak to a pathological degree, really.”

Ye Ji’an laughed. “Even if you broke up, there’s no need to harm others while benefiting yourself.”

“I’m not joking.” Roman finally sat up straight. “When we first started dating, I would come back from outside, and he would insist on knowing exactly where I had been. If I made new friends, he had to meet them and get familiar with them. He followed all my classmates’ social media accounts. If my phone rang in the middle of the night and I didn’t answer, he would call back to find out who was on the other end. I had almost no personal space; he almost put a tracker on me.”

Ye Ji’an’s expression remained indifferent, unaffected. “But you still succeeded, didn’t you? When it comes to deceiving him, I can only say you have a talent.”

Roman’s face turned pale from the sting. “I regret it deeply.”

Ye Ji’an slowly took a sip of his coffee. “Oh.”

Roman suddenly raised his voice. “But doesn’t that prove he loves me? He fears losing me, fears leaving me, very much.”

Ye Ji’an thought to himself that Roman was still addicted to reminiscing. “That’s in the past.”

Roman suddenly laughed. “What about now? Does he treat you like that?”

Ye Ji’an shrugged. “No. After going through a failed relationship, one must learn a lesson,” he smiled, his brows softening. “The fact proves that being overly anxious doesn’t lead to happiness. Liang Xiao is so smart; after finally starting over, he must learn to trust me mutually. He has matured and won’t do the kind of thankless things that little boys do. Perhaps I can give him more of a sense of security.”

Roman bit his lip, staring at Ye Ji’an.

Ye Ji’an sighed. “Repeating the same mistakes is truly painful. He doesn’t want to suffer like that, and I won’t let him.”

Roman’s eyes turned red, his lake-blue eyes glistening with tears. “You have no right to say that… We are both experiencing our first love and will make mistakes. Yes, I caused him very serious harm, but he also surprised me! I got out, made so many calls, sent so many emails, waited every day, prepared everything, and I didn’t expect he wouldn’t even want to see me. When he called me, it was as if he didn’t know me. You were already dating in Moscow, right? In any case, as long as you make a mistake or do something he doesn’t like, he will unhesitatingly abandon you. He is essentially indifferent, fickle, and has no attachment to anything. Shawn is that kind of person. Don’t you fear that?”

“Why would anyone want to suffer?” Ye Ji’an countered.

Roman looked confused.

Ye Ji’an furrowed his brow and looked at him sincerely. “People can only endure so much harm. Clearly, what you caused him was unbearable. Why continue to torture yourself? He just started his job and is already very busy, worrying about sudden death. Why sacrifice his rest time to meet you and argue? It can only be said that even without me, he wouldn’t be yours.”

Roman was left speechless.

Ye Ji’an continued to refine his logical chain. “I understand everything you said, but if I do something foolish in the future, to the point of being irreparable, and Liang Xiao decisively breaks up with me and treats me like a stranger, I will have to accept it, no need for your kind reminder now.”

“I don’t think we can’t be repaired.” Roman lowered his head, covering his eyes.

Ye Ji’an was a bit annoyed. He didn’t want to sound too absolute, as if he were bullying a child, but he was indeed very displeased with this so-called rival in love who refused to understand. This kind of obsessive sentimentality was not worth understanding; he just wanted to speak plainly, which made him seem somewhat impatient. “Being loyal and righteous is a virtue, and boasting is a psychology everyone experiences. So, while I don’t like hearing what you’re saying, I respect it,” he paused and added, “Liang Xiao certainly loved you, very much, as you’ve already demonstrated to me. In fact, no one wants to deny that. This only proves he is someone who takes relationships seriously. But since you started using drugs, and up until now that you’ve found a company, everything you’ve done has only made him dislike you, even hate you. If he really did that, you can’t blame anyone else.”

After saying that, he stood up and walked over to Roman, patting him on the shoulder, which was trembling slightly. “If you can still take this in, I advise you to think carefully about how you treated him before. Don’t just think about how much you’ve lost; think more about whether you’re worth it. Last time in Moscow, and today, if you really see him, or if you keep looking for opportunities, you can always run into him. No one can stop you. But when you do talk, will you feel even a little guilty?”

Roman shouted in a muffled voice, “Stop saying that!”

Ye Ji’an looked out the floor-to-ceiling window at the cold, gray street and said lightly, “I’m going back to the meeting. No need to see you off.”

He took a step but then heard movement behind him; Roman must have stood up. “Director Ye, you seem to fear nothing. Do you care if your relationship is known by your colleagues?”

Ye Ji’an didn’t even turn around. “It doesn’t matter to me. I think it’s only a matter of time, but whether Liang Xiao is willing is something you need to ask him yourself. We haven’t discussed such issues.”

After saying that, he walked straight out.

He left with an air of nonchalance. During the short meeting that followed, he performed normally, assigning a few trivial tasks before letting the employees leave for the holiday. Valentine’s Day has the advantage of providing couples with a perfectly legitimate reason to stick together sweetly, doing nothing else. Even if single, there are plenty of discount activities in the mall and many blockbuster movies in theaters, offering a variety of enjoyable choices. Therefore, the entire department naturally took off collectively, with no one left to voluntarily work overtime, leaving only Ye Ji’an alone in his glass office, staring at the day’s market.

The market had long since closed, and he hadn’t had time to check the few stocks he bought during work hours. At this moment, he saw quite a few in the red, and one had hit the limit up, appearing cheerful amidst the sorrowful green market, yet he felt no sense of joy. Given the nature of his profession, the little money he invested felt like a game; even if he made a lot, it merely alleviated the pressure of his mortgage and did nothing to ease his daily urge to die.

That wasn’t entirely accurate; Ye Ji’an had actually thought very little about the profound topic of death recently. He just felt, at this second, a bit of a desire to die, and the next second, the same. It was already past five forty; he turned off the lights. The large department occupied nearly half a floor, and the corridor and tea room inside were pitch black. Outside, in his office with the floor-to-ceiling windows, the orange-red sunset shone in, yet it still appeared dim.

Ye Ji’an stared at the colorless red between the tall buildings, silently pondering. He was waiting, the Vietnamese restaurant was waiting, the wide-angle lens was waiting, and Valentine’s Day was also waiting. Liang Xiao had no news now, but he would definitely come. What was there to be anxious about? He just kept recalling the conversation in the café. What kind of person was he then? He had used his eloquence and brought out the aggressive style he learned in the university debate team, acting like a young punk who wouldn’t let go of a point. It seemed quite reasonable, but in reality, there was no rationality on the surface—because he was indeed very, very unhappy!

Ye Ji’an realized he was feeling jealous, having eaten from a large jar since a little after three.

For example, family, because it touched on both of their painful matters, they both disliked bringing it up. Not to mention meeting, he didn’t even know who Liang Xiao’s father was; they hadn’t exchanged a single word. And then there was the control and possessiveness; Ye Ji’an actually didn’t mind it, but he was somewhat worried that Liang Xiao’s ever-present sense of proportion would tire him out and make him overly cautious. Oh, and the notion of first love—first love, what a joke! Ye Ji’an gulped down the now-cold Da Hong Pao to calm himself, yet he couldn’t help but shout in his heart, who cares about who was the first to fall in love? The real skill is in loving until the end!

In short, jealousy was truly terrifying. Ye Ji’an sat there, looking the part, having already tidied his hair and sprayed on perfume for the date, while inside, he was a tumult of emotions, a bone stuck in his throat.

Even the pressing issue—if Roman really exposed things and made the whole company aware, how would Liang Xiao react? Should he stop it, and how could he stop it? He couldn’t think it through anymore.

At some point, the computer screen went black, and Ye Ji’an was too lazy to turn it back on. Frustrated, he picked up his phone and saw that the company group chat showed the new employees’ tour had ended, the bus had departed on time at four, and was expected to arrive at the company by six.

It was already six.

Ye Ji’an opened the chat window with Liang Xiao. The last message was from lunchtime when Liang Xiao sent him a picture of a luxurious lunch box with six dishes. He had foolishly replied, “Help, there’s celery and mushrooms,” receiving several crying emojis from Liang Xiao.

Now he asked: Are you almost there?

He sent another message: The gift isn’t urgent; eat first. After a day of fussing, are you starving?

The last message was: I’m so hungry [crying face].

But he received no reply. Liang Xiao’s call came directly in. “Senior, you’re still at the company, right?” It sounded like he was running. “The company has lost power!”

Ye Ji’an felt as if he had just awakened from a dream; it seemed that hearing this voice finally grounded his drifting spirit from the afternoon. “I’m here, but I turned off the lights and didn’t notice. Where are you?”

“I’m climbing the stairs—” Liang Xiao seemed to be laughing. “Just two more floors; don’t move.”

After saying that, he hung up.

Ye Ji’an jumped up, put on his coat, and grabbed his bag. Indeed, the air conditioning had stopped, but he only now felt the chill. He ran straight to the glass door of the department, and fortunately, the card access system was independently powered and still usable. Just as he locked the door, he heard a faint sound behind him; it was the sound of the fire door opening. Before he could turn around, he was hugged from behind. Liang Xiao appeared, looking worn out, his coat icy.

“Cold! The bus’s air conditioning is broken.” Liang Xiao rubbed his neck against Ye Ji’an’s, his nose glistening with a light sweat.

Ye Ji’an touched the two hands wrapped around his waist; they were warm. After climbing over thirty floors, Liang Xiao had clearly rushed. “You could have just called me down!”

“The hallway is so dark; I wanted to accompany you, Senior.” Liang Xiao wrapped his arms around him again and once more entered the fire escape, his breath steadying as he smiled contentedly.

Ye Ji’an smiled too; the hallway was indeed pitch black. In the enclosed space with all the lights out, Ye Ji’an felt like a hen, as hens are night-blind. But with Liang Xiao holding his hand, he didn’t even need to touch the handrail. Their growling stomachs were set aside, like a private stroll, as Liang Xiao softly shared his experiences of the day, and Ye Ji’an listened quietly. Not to mention bringing up Roman, he didn’t even want to interrupt to say anything; he felt that would be an untimely disruption.

Both being sensitive to numbers, when they reached a floor, Liang Xiao naturally pushed the door, and Ye Ji’an had just counted to that level. No one would mistakenly wander into the basement. Outside was also dark, but the streetlights illuminated the spacious lobby, shining into the café, where they bumped into two security guards. However, Liang Xiao did not let go of Ye Ji’an’s hand.

Without hesitation, perhaps without even thinking, it seemed to have become a habit. The automatic door was out of order, as was the revolving door, so the two of them pushed the heavy side door together. When the cold wind hit, Ye Ji’an saw the bright red Bugatti, shiny and clean, parked under the flagpole.

Liang Xiao turned his face, looking into Ye Ji’an’s eyes, still wearing that smiling expression. “Senior’s gift can’t be late; it’s in the car.”