Chapter 16

Liang Xiao held Ye Ji’an’s shoulders, straightening him up, and stared at him in silence for what felt like at least two minutes.

“Is that still true now?” he asked.

Ye Ji’an had been nervously swallowing saliva for a while, his little finger still hooked on Liang Xiao’s belt. “Why wouldn’t it be?” he pulled Liang Xiao closer.

“What about in another minute?” Liang Xiao said, hugging him again as he had before. Their gazes diverged, and his arms didn’t exert much force, just gently encircling Ye Ji’an’s waist. The movement was careful, and despite being held, Ye Ji’an felt a sense of reluctance from Liang Xiao.

“Are you waiting for me to regret it?”

“I am.”

“I won’t regret it,” Ye Ji’an finally released the belt, draping his arms over Liang Xiao’s shoulders, wanting to make the embrace more solid. “Even though I drank, I can take responsibility for what I say.”

“I already like you…” he added, his heart feeling both aggrieved and joyful.

Liang Xiao was silent for a moment, then he seemed to smile in his ear after a while. “So what does Senior want me to do now? Take you to the restroom?”

“Um, and kiss me!” Ye Ji’an said sullenly, surprised by his own words. He felt his dignity was almost worn away, but what did it matter? He didn’t care that their suits were left unattended on the bar counter. Liang Xiao was indeed an efficient person; if he promised something, he would do even more. He fulfilled both of Ye Ji’an’s requests simultaneously, kissing him while pushing him out of the bar.

Ye Ji’an stepped back, unable to see what was behind him, but he trusted his sense of direction and strength, feeling no unease. He moved through the crowd, perhaps being watched by many, but he didn’t bump into anyone. The light poles changed colors, swaying overhead, and the smoky air of the bar was slightly choking. He closed his eyes, feeling only the two sets of lips and breaths.

In fact, even when he wasn’t single two years ago, Ye Ji’an rarely kissed like this. It seemed too crazy and useless to him. He was strictly educated from a young age to marry and have children, to fulfill filial duties. Later, his ex-girlfriend, sitting at the head of the bed with a face mask, would get angry because he came home late from work, throwing the blanket on the floor and talking to him all night about marriage, children, and filial duties. This made him feel that sex was a clear-cut, rule-bound affair, like a calculated mortgage, with no one teaching him how to kiss out of affection.

Moreover, after such a long time of abstinence, Ye Ji’an felt his clumsy kissing skills were far from enough. The more he thought about it, the more he kissed with passion to make up for his lack of technique. Gradually, he became short of breath, had to take a few breaths, and then immediately resumed the kiss. Liang Xiao was much more composed, steadying his frantic rhythm and even finding the energy to stroke his spine and nuzzle his nose.

The restroom and the bar’s exit were separated by a bright corridor. The wind was cool, and the entrance was littered with flattened cigarette butts. Inside, the place was empty, the tiles on the floor and walls were gray, varying in shade, and there was a strong smell of air freshener by the mirror. Liang Xiao stopped the kiss, holding Ye Ji’an’s chin to look at him, and chose a stall. Ye Ji’an, panting, leaned against him, turning his head to look, a bit unwilling. He felt that Liang Xiao always ended their kisses too abruptly, leaving him dizzy while Liang Xiao seemed ready for a meeting.

“This one,” Ye Ji’an pointed to the stall at the back.

Liang Xiao grabbed his wrist, half-dragging and half-hugging him inside. The door slammed shut with a loud noise, and Ye Ji’an was suddenly pressed against the wall, his hands tightly pinned on either side of his ears. The kiss resumed, this time initiated by Liang Xiao, more passionate and intense than before. Ye Ji’an dimly understood that it was as if Liang Xiao’s desire only truly became desire in this private space.

Fast forward.

“Senior, Senior,” Liang Xiao whispered, pressing his hips against Ye Ji’an’s, his knee between his legs, licking his palate, gums, and even the back of his tongue, like the intimate nuzzling of small animals, unable to control the sharp tips of his teeth. Ye Ji’an could only respond with low “hmm” sounds, his throat contracting, his Adam’s apple bobbing, swallowing the excess saliva, the tingling, moist sensation spreading, even lingering after the touch. With the last bit of his rationality, he shakily reached out and locked the stall.

Liang Xiao had his own rhythm, biting his lips and then trailing hot kisses down his jawline, the smacking sounds both ambiguous and tender. Ye Ji’an finally found a moment to speak, “I feel my body… isn’t particularly sensitive,” he felt it necessary to inform him, tightly hugging Liang Xiao’s neck, afraid of being pushed away. “I mean, I might be a bit frigid.”

“Have you been a long time without?” Liang Xiao began kissing his eyelashes.

Ye Ji’an trembled, obediently closing his eyes, “A long time.”

“What about yourself?”

“…I haven’t either. It just feels… meaningless.” The height difference and the tight embrace made Ye Ji’an feel a hard bulge pressing against his abdomen and crotch, but his own part remained flaccid, as usual, tucked away in his dress pants, seemingly disconnected from the arousal in his mind. Ye Ji’an often felt rusted, wrapped in layer upon layer, thick and secure, allowing him to hide safely inside, but when it mattered, he wanted to come out, risking the endless peeling of those rusted layers.

Liang Xiao, however, was not in a hurry. He licked his eyelids, his soft lips covering his eye sockets, opening and closing, “Don’t worry, Senior. I can make you sensitive.”

He was confident, “No need to undress. I can make you feel good.”

“I already feel… very good…” Ye Ji’an meant his mouth and all the places that had been kissed. He tried to move his hips to increase the friction, wanting to become irresistibly alluring and to be seen by Liang Xiao. But Liang Xiao restrained his chaotic movements, resuming the kisses from his forehead, a spot that usually had no erotic meaning, yet Ye Ji’an shuddered. The warmth of his fingers circled his nape, separating him from the cold wall, the pads of his fingers caressing his skin, as if it were a ticklish sensation, “Is this a sensitive spot for you, Senior?” he asked.

“I don’t… know…” Ye Ji’an lowered his head, afraid, wanting to bury his face in Liang Xiao’s neck.

“Um, I’ve observed,” Liang Xiao’s voice carried a smile, his kisses moving from his eyebrows to his neck, his brow pressing against Ye Ji’an’s chin. He seemed to hesitate but didn’t suck too hard, instead moving upward to the soft earlobe. “And here.” The earlobe was bitten, the earlobe gently licked, the tip of his tongue even probing the ear canal—how could that be a place to lick, and who would want to do it, especially someone as proud as Liang Xiao, who seemed to care about nothing in public.

Ye Ji’an felt itchy, but not the kind of ticklishness; he wanted to cry, not laugh. He panted harder, his ears burning as if they were melting, his lips and teeth stimulating them, soft and hard, making Ye Ji’an experience a conflicting pleasure, as if he had fallen heavily onto a cloud, and the caresses on his nape continued. The other hand moved to his chest, pinching and kneading through his shirt and thermal underwear, not painful but irritating, something inside standing up, the sensation like goosebumps. Ye Ji’an didn’t know, he couldn’t figure it out, he just felt hot, really hot, the cloud was hot, steaming with dizzying moisture, and he shakily reached to unbutton his shirt.

Was this sensitivity?

He only knew he was about to go numb.

Liang Xiao then bit his Adam’s apple, “I really want to leave a tooth mark, Senior. You’re mine.”

Ye Ji’an opened his shirt, holding him close, his breathing uneven, “Bite.”

“No.” Liang Xiao shook his head, his hair brushing against Ye Ji’an’s chin, his voice muffled, “It won’t go away in a week, and I have to go back to work.”

Ye Ji’an was taken aback, then chuckled. Liang Xiao touched him more confidently, his kisses natural as he undid his belt. If his heart could be measured by hardness, he felt it was now like a milk ice cream left out for half an hour on a summer evening, melting and being held tightly, “I still want to ask you, um…” he couldn’t suppress a moan, steadying his voice, half-opening his eyes, “For two men to make love,” the word made him even more embarrassed, “there’s a top and a bottom, right?”

“I’ve only been the top.” Liang Xiao’s eyelashes brushed his collarbone.

Ye Ji’an thought, as expected, but he was somewhat prepared, “Stand up, stand up a bit.” He pushed the shoulder pressing against his ribs.

Liang Xiao was taken aback but bent over, looking up at him, “But Senior can do whatever you want.”

Why did he look so nervous, even… afraid? Ye Ji’an couldn’t figure it out, he was high, so he did everything straightforwardly, “Hey, stand straight, a bit straighter.” Liang Xiao complied, and Ye Ji’an smiled, touching his face, then squatted down.

He lost balance and ended up kneeling, his knees spread, pressing against Liang Xiao’s shoe tips, his own shoes creasing, the heels bumping his buttocks, “I haven’t practiced, so it might not be good,” he undid the belt and zipper, “but there’s a saying, practice makes perfect.” He blushed, looking up at Liang Xiao with a smile.

Liang Xiao said nothing, his face in the shadows, expression unclear, but he lowered his hand, gently touching the corner of his eye.

The hand was trembling.

Why are you trembling? I should be the one trembling, Ye Ji’an thought. My mouth will betray me. He had no confidence in how to handle his own, let alone someone else’s. But Ye Ji’an knew he had to take this step. Liang Xiao would worry about him regretting it, so he had to show Liang Xiao that he wouldn’t. Once the opportunity was lost, it would be hard to find again. So, he decided not to hesitate and pulled down the underwear, the penis already substantial, springing out and poking his face.

Ye Ji’an gasped. This direct stimulation was impossible to simulate mentally, and when he saw Liang Xiao’s pale skin and the pinkish-red penis, he realized how different it was from what he had imagined. It was not cute, but rather aggressive. He smelled soap and a faint body odor, not unpleasant, but a real reminder that this was a man’s organ, a man.

He sniffed, held the shaft, and opened his mouth.

The head was in his mouth, Liang Xiao’s fingertips still at the corner of his eye, suddenly pausing.

It was heavy and hard, even hurting his tongue, but his breathing was still smooth. Ye Ji’an’s confidence grew, and he swallowed deeper, taking in about half, his lips touching the hand below, his nose not touching the curly hair, his mouth fully stretched. The large object seemed to push all the air out of his mouth, creating a strange negative pressure. He had never eaten such a large lollipop or popsicle, and Ye Ji’an was a bit dazed.

He tried moving back and forth but found he had no idea what he was doing. His teeth came out, his lips and tongue didn’t know how to please. He had watched a tutorial video last week, a professional-looking woman on a foreign website, blindfolded, with a red, erect dildo on the table. He had hidden in the company toilet, locking the screen occasionally to calm down, even taking notes in his memo app, building considerable confidence. Now, it seemed like he had forgotten everything. He was stuck, trying to lick in circles with his tongue, unable to move, unwilling to let it out.

Ultimately, it was too large. The props in the tutorial video were not like this.

Ye Ji’an felt a bit discouraged, the unbuttoned pants falling, his breathing heavier, saliva spilling from his almost full mouth, dripping down his chin, even flowing onto his open shirt.

Looking up, Liang Xiao’s eyes were shadowed, expressionless, but he pushed his hips slightly, and even in this stalemate, Ye Ji’an made a few muffled sounds, the sticky wet sounds coming from his mouth, uncontrollable.

It sounded quite erotic.

Ye Ji’an felt his confidence rekindle.

He closed his eyes, held the base with both hands, and was about to concentrate when he was suddenly lifted by the collar, as if his teeth had bitten down. Ye Ji’an couldn’t confirm, he didn’t have time to ask anything, and was turned around, pressed hard against the wall, his face against the cold tiles. Behind him, it was also cool, and his half-fallen pants were finally pulled down, along with his underwear, pooling at his ankles. “Senior,” Liang Xiao’s breath was in his ear, like the tide of the sea, crashing on his shore. His hand probed between his legs, rubbing and generating heat, delving deeper, almost touching the inside of his buttocks, “You hurt me just now.”

Ye Ji’an broke out in a fine sweat, his shirt soaked through, his tattoo bleeding through, his thigh muscles tensed, and he panted, “I’m… sorry…”

The apology was cut off as Liang Xiao kissed him, his fingers finally touching the small opening, dry and trembling under his fingertips, but only touching, “I don’t want to hurt you, in a place like this.” He said, lifting Ye Ji’an’s abdomen to raise his hips. Ye Ji’an obediently closed his eyes, not wanting to hurt? Even if it hurt, it wouldn’t matter. He focused all his attention on the penetration, ready to endure the tearing sensation, even biting his lip to avoid screaming, but only felt the pressure between his legs.

Liang Xiao’s penis pressed between his legs, grinding over his thighs and perineum, even touching his own flaccid penis. Ye Ji’an was momentarily dazed, looking down, seeing the two penises rubbing against each other, his legs bare and being invaded. This situation was even more embarrassing than direct penetration! Liang Xiao held his penis without warning, his fingers, with clear knuckles, looking beautiful, rubbing the head, circling the coronal ridge, and moving along the shaft, making his own penis seem ugly. Ye Ji’an’s temples throbbed, moaning, his half-soft state quickly disappearing, hardening faster and more dramatically than any time he had pleasured himself, making him feel like he was back in his energetic student days.

His moans and hardness were noticed by Liang Xiao, who seemed to touch a switch similar to oral sex. After a few strokes, Liang Xiao increased the speed of his thrusts, “Senior, close your legs.” He reminded, his voice like sun-warmed sandpaper, incredibly seductive, “Let me feel even better.”

Ye Ji’an complied, bringing his feet together, his knees touching, but his thighs were forced apart by the hard penis, creating a circular shape. The rarely rubbed, delicate skin was burning, and his name tag dangled helplessly. He clung to the wall, turning his head, looking at the red-eyed man behind him through watered eyes, only wanting a kiss. When he kissed, he made satisfied “hmm” sounds, “So good…” he whispered, “You… touch me.”

Liang Xiao smiled, tenderly kissing the sweat on his face, the object between his legs still unyielding. Suddenly, without warning, there was noise outside, someone entered, more than one, speaking drunkenly. Ye Ji’an didn’t have the energy to listen clearly, only hearing the distant bass continuing, but it couldn’t drown out his heart pounding fiercely. He was a bit afraid, the air freshener smell long gone, replaced by sweat, saliva, and various wet, sticky substances, evaporating in the air, becoming a thing called desire. For him, it was such, so he didn’t want others to smell it, to discover anything.

Liang Xiao showed no intention of stopping, only slowing down to avoid the noise of his hips hitting, and to prevent Ye Ji’an from making sounds that could be heard. He covered Ye Ji’an’s mouth, but Ye Ji’an softly licked him, like he had done to his lower body, clumsily and earnestly, the wet sounds and moist breaths still escaping, innocent like the legs he was grinding, like Ye Ji’an’s tear-streaked, drunken eyes. Liang Xiao thought he might go crazy, turning Ye Ji’an’s face, kissing him fiercely, swallowing the sounds. But the moment their tongues touched, Ye Ji’an came, in his hand, the thick white fluid dripping to the floor.

Ye Ji’an couldn’t open his eyes, his brows furrowed, the corners of his eyes flushed, his face and body convulsing, his coccyx and thighs squeezing Liang Xiao, making his scalp tingle, feeling fragile. He still kissed him, holding him in his arms, giving Ye Ji’an great comfort, his fingers sliding down the wall.

The noise came again, the door opened, then quieted, leaving them alone once more.

“I… I’ll touch you too,” Ye Ji’an felt a warm surge, boldly reaching out, parting his post-orgasmic, soft, and flaccid penis, trying to touch the hard, intrusive one. He touched it, but couldn’t hold it steady, Liang Xiao thrusting too fast, his waist seemingly tireless, his breath moving to Ye Ji’an’s nape, making him shudder again. Their mixed fluids coated the erect penis, smearing onto Ye Ji’an’s thighs and even his buttocks. Later, when Liang Xiao couldn’t resist biting his nape, calling his name, and coming inside his thighs, Ye Ji’an felt his entire lower body was drenched.

After a while, he didn’t rush to move. Liang Xiao still held him from behind, resting his cheek on the back of his head, gently swaying him back and forth.

Ye Ji’an gradually found his breathing evening out. He felt a strange sensation at the back of his neck; the pain from the bite marks hadn’t faded, yet there was a sweet, tingling pleasure, as if tiny electrodes were lingering there, spreading out. “Indeed,” he said with a silly smile, “my neck is just very sensitive.”

Liang Xiao tightened his embrace a little more. “Senior, are you comfortable?”

“Mm,” Ye Ji’an turned his face, rubbing his ear against Liang Xiao’s hair. “It just feels… a bit lewd. From now on, whenever I go to the bathroom, I’ll think of this.”

He couldn’t help but laugh again.

“I was actually really nervous just now,” Liang Xiao chuckled, his voice still nasal, making him sound like a dazed little child. “What if I couldn’t make you feel comfortable?”

“What if I scared the Senior away? What then?” he added.

“Hey, can you have a little faith in me?” Ye Ji’an pinched the back of his hand, swaying his waist in rhythm with Liang Xiao’s gentle movements, like a tender dance. “You know, we met so early, and now we’re together like this,” he struggled to organize his thoughts. “It’s the kind of fate your father talked about. You should have faith in that too.”

“Yeah, Senior, I know,” Liang Xiao’s voice suddenly became clear, like a transparent sky with kites fluttering in the wind. “You are destined to be loved by me.” He said this with conviction.

After that, Ye Ji’an’s memories became hazy. He probably got cleaned up, dressed, and was helped out of the bathroom, then assisted into that little cloth vehicle, being taken home by Liang Xiao. The next day, he woke up in Liang Xiao’s bed, still suffering from a hangover. Instinctively, he reached out beside him, but the person holding him was gone. He had been completely cleaned up, his skin carrying the scent of shower gel. Glancing at his phone, he saw it was already past ten in the morning, and on the screen was a pale yellow sticky note with Liang Xiao’s neat handwriting, the ink seemingly still wet: “I went downstairs to buy breakfast. Senior, you’re in charge of opening the window for ventilation.”

Ye Ji’an smiled. He couldn’t help it; thinking of the breakfast shop owner’s thick southern accent and Liang Xiao’s overly standard slow Mandarin along with his confused expression made him want to laugh. As he crawled out from under the covers, he realized he was completely naked, not even wearing underwear. Remembering everything that had happened last night made him want to laugh even more. Rarely did anything make him smile while nursing a headache; if there was anything else, it would be the year-end bonus.

He rummaged through the drawer for a pair of boxer shorts to wear, unsure if they were his, and pulled out a thick red velvet shirt, which he recognized as Liang Xiao’s.

Putting it on, it covered his backside.

Ye Ji’an firmly believed that on the morning after, when Liang Xiao returned from the cold outside, he would definitely want to see him wearing his clothes on top, and as for the bottom, just the underwear would suffice; no need to wear anything else for now.

He combed his hair in front of the mirror, feeling satisfied with his appearance aside from the dark circles under his eyes. Just then, he heard the sound of the door opening, so he pushed open the bedroom door, ready to give Liang Xiao a big hug. The down jacket would surely be cold, so he thought he’d take it off for the hug.

However, as soon as he stepped out of the room, a strong female voice collided with the cool breeze, ringing in his ears: “Young Master, it’s almost New Year! I’m here to tidy up for you!”

Ye Ji’an’s mind went blank, standing stiffly at the bedroom door.

Their eyes met.

It was a plump middle-aged woman, looking to be in her fifties, dressed in a bright red coat and high boots. She dropped her bags at her feet and let out a sharp scream: “Oh, you’re that… Director Ye!”

Ye Ji’an was terrified, wanting nothing more than to retreat back into the bedroom to put on some pants.

But she came rushing toward him: “Oh my goodness, I’ve heard so much about you! Finally, I get to see you!”