Chapter 4: The Movie Emperor Teaches the Illiterate

Chen Chang’an shivered, realizing something was off, and quickly forced a smile, “How could that be? It’s Teacher Jiang’s, it’s definitely Teacher Jiang’s, no one can take it away.”

Lu Renjia gasped, “Wow—Brother An is definitely Teacher Jiang’s—no one can take him away—”

Chen Chang’an could no longer tolerate it, “You think I can’t hear you just because you’re whispering, right?”

Jiang Baiqing ignored Lu Renjia and simply looked at Chen Chang’an, “Do you want him to replace me?”

Before Chen Chang’an could answer, he continued, “Fine.”

The filming had already begun, and Jiang Baiqing didn’t want to make things difficult for the director. He decided to endure Chen Chang’an’s antics, thinking it was harmless.

As soon as he finished speaking, he decisively turned and walked to the other side of the director.

Lu Renjia exclaimed, “No way, the CP I ship is breaking up because of me?”

He pronounced “breaking up” in a high tone, dragging it out like he was singing.

“Brother, I finally understand why your name isn’t in the book.” Chen Chang’an was exasperated, “With that mouth of yours, you could offend someone eight hundred times in a day.”

After saying that, Chen Chang’an hurriedly followed, “Teacher Jiang, I didn’t mean it that way, I want to stand next to you.”

Jiang Baiqing coldly refused, “I have nothing to say to you.”

“But I have things to say to you.” Chen Chang’an was undeterred, batting his peach blossom eyes, “I have endless things to talk about with you.”

Jiang Baiqing turned his head away, “Annoying.”

Chen Chang’an felt a bit wronged and quietly complained, “It’s all for you.”

This made Jiang Baiqing frown, instinctively glancing at Jiang Youchuan nearby, worried he might overhear.

After a long pause, Jiang Baiqing realized that every time Chen Chang’an said something ambiguous, his first reaction was always guilt.

Why should he feel guilty? He wasn’t the one talking nonsense.

Jiang Baiqing straightened his back, adopting a senior’s demeanor, “Alright, you stay here and don’t move.”

“—You go buy an orange?” Finally, Chen Chang’an recalled some language knowledge from elementary school and eagerly chimed in.

“Do you want to be the son of our movie emperor?” This line, coincidentally, was overheard by Jiang Youchuan, who looked utterly shocked, “Father-son bet? Is the God of Wealth playing such twisted games now?”

“…I knew it.” Jiang Baiqing had long anticipated the outcome of letting Chen Chang’an speak freely.

The positions for the group photo were almost set, and Chen Chang’an was thrilled to stand next to Jiang Baiqing, creating a harmonious scene of brotherly friendship.

Chen Chang’an grinned so wide he almost froze, glancing at Jiang Baiqing, “Teacher Jiang, why aren’t you smiling?”

“Am I not smiling?” Jiang Baiqing retorted.

Chen Chang’an felt that didn’t count as a smile at all, “The angle is too small; people will think your relationship with me isn’t good.”

“Ha ha.” Jiang Baiqing let out a cold laugh, “Do I look like I have a good relationship with you?”

Just then, the camera clicked as Jiang Baiqing laughed.

Chen Chang’an nervously followed Jiang Baiqing to see the photo, and surprisingly, Jiang Baiqing was smiling quite clearly in the picture, which was a stroke of luck.

Chen Chang’an sighed in relief, crisis averted.

—

In a narrow alley, Pei Shengyi brushed past Jiang Chengfeng, keeping his head down, dressed in the dirtiest school uniform imaginable, trying to disguise himself as a gray background.

Jiang Chengfeng took a while to realize who had walked by, turned around, and hurriedly called out, “Hey, I heard you like men?”

Pei Shengyi paused for a moment, then walked even faster.

“Hey, don’t go.” Jiang Chengfeng realized his tone was unclear and felt a bit frustrated as he chased after him, “Don’t be afraid of me. I mean, liking men is fine; it’s not a reason for them to bully you.”

Pei Shengyi froze, feeling the casual way Jiang Chengfeng draped an arm around his neck, as if they were long-time buddies.

Slowly, a shy pink crept onto his pale, unhealthy cheeks, and a surge of emotions threatened to tear him apart—one half wanted to hide, while the other half desperately wanted to offer himself up, feeling conflicted.

Chen Chang’an sat on a small stool at the filming site, finally unable to hold back, “…What does ‘left and right’ mean?”

The director nearby overheard and couldn’t take it anymore, “Movie Emperor Jiang, hurry and teach the God of Wealth how to read!”

Jiang Baiqing was also looking at the script and glanced over at the comment, “Can’t you teach him yourself?”

“I have a phobia of large objects.” Jiang Youchuan shook his head frantically, “I’m terrified of illiterate people.”

The movie emperor fell silent, put down the script, walked over, looked at Chen Chang’an’s script, and after three seconds of silence, burst out laughing.

“I don’t know how to say hello to you.” Jiang Baiqing pointed at the crooked pinyin annotations all over the script, “I’ve never seen a script annotated with pinyin like it’s a must-read for elementary school students. Are you a diligent and studious student?”

Chen Chang’an replied weakly, “I’m not; I’m the illiterate person that scares Director Jiang.”

“Good attitude, but lacking flexibility. You don’t know this character; have you considered putting it into another word to see?” Jiang Baiqing saw Chen Chang’an was serious and stopped laughing, typing “outshone by comparison (相形见绌 xiāng xíng jiàn chù meaning “to pale in comparison”)” into the chat box and showing it to Chen Chang’an, “Put it into a familiar word; do you recognize it now?”

Chen Chang’an squinted; he still hadn’t seen this term and looked confused, “…What does ‘outshone by’ mean?”

The student was not getting it, and Jiang Baiqing felt a bit irritable, coldly saying:

“What does ‘outshone by’ mean? How about ‘outshone by me (相形见我 xiāng xíng jiàn wǒ)’?”

—

“Oh? So this character is pronounced ‘wǒ’? I thought it was pronounced ‘chù’.” Chen Chang’an nodded, indicating he understood.

“…It’s pronounced ‘chù’.”

Jiang Baiqing didn’t expect him to actually believe it and could only give the correct answer.

“Then why did you say it wrong just now?” Chen Chang’an looked puzzled, “I was almost about to get it, but then you almost taught me wrong. Isn’t that misleading?”

“…Sorry.”

Under Chen Chang’an’s accusing gaze, Jiang Baiqing stiffly uttered two words.

Chen Chang’an was satisfied and stopped pressing Jiang Baiqing. He held the script and thought for a moment, then forgot the pain after the wound healed, leaning his face closer to Jiang Baiqing.

A big smiling face suddenly appeared above the script, startling Jiang Baiqing, “What now?”

“Teacher Jiang, I have a difficult request to make.”

“If it’s hard to say, then don’t say it.” Jiang Baiqing didn’t even look up, “Go find the director; I’m sure he will understand your unspoken difficulties. After all, he might have similar unspoken difficulties.”

“That won’t do; too many people can’t know about this.” Chen Chang’an fidgeted, “I would be shy.”

Jiang Baiqing snorted lightly, “You tell me, how come you’re not shy?”

Chen Chang’an quickly praised Jiang Baiqing, “You’re too upright; it’s hard to be shy around you.”

“Thank you.” Jiang Baiqing nodded, not buying into his flattery, “But I hope next time you can be a little shy.”

Chen Chang’an understood, “So can I say it this time?”

Jiang Baiqing rubbed his temples, “Go ahead.”

“Well, Teacher Jiang, can I go to your room tonight?” Chen Chang’an raised his eyebrows, “I want to discuss the script with you.”

After all, it was Chen Chang’an’s first time playing a major role, and to prevent embarrassing himself on set tomorrow, he was determined to rehearse first.

Seeing that Jiang Baiqing seemed relatively kind today, he thought… he probably wouldn’t be angry with him, right?

Putting aside the outfit incident, they were still good colleagues.

“Wait.” Jiang Baiqing’s hand that was rubbing his temples stopped and shifted to his forehead, “What did you just say?”

Chen Chang’an recalled, “I said, ‘Can I go to your room tonight?'”

“Not that sentence.” Jiang Baiqing’s expression was calm, “The one before that.”

Chen Chang’an, not suspecting anything, replied, “‘Can I say it this time?'”

Jiang Baiqing said firmly, “No.”

Chen Chang’an tried to argue, “Teacher Jiang, can you give a little support to your junior?”

Jiang Baiqing replied coldly, “I always support my juniors, but you are not a junior; you are a hindrance.”

—

Chen “Hindrance” Chang’an ultimately got his wish and entered the movie emperor’s room—because Jiang Youchuan had saved all the funds for production, booking double rooms for all crew members, including the male lead and the second male lead.

When Jiang Baiqing learned this unfortunate news, he tried to resist, “I actually wouldn’t mind sharing a room with the director.”

“That’s not possible; I’m sleeping in a single room.” Jiang Youchuan refused vehemently, “A king/queen size bedroom; I booked too many rooms, and the hotel gave it to me.”

“You get to stay in a single room?” Jiang Baiqing felt a bit unfair.

Jiang Youchuan replied matter-of-factly, “What else? There’s only one single room available; am I supposed to film a reality show to let everyone compete for it?”

After a moment of thought, he added, “Could it be that you and Chen Chang’an really have something going on? What’s wrong with sharing a room with him? Would you be unable to control yourself?”

“Talking so much, do you want to change careers to become a novelist?”

Jiang Baiqing applied pressure lightly, and Jiang Youchuan dared not speak further.

But in the end, Jiang Baiqing had to share a room with Chen Chang’an.

“Teacher Jiang, I actually don’t snore when I sleep, nor do I talk in my sleep.” Chen Chang’an, seeing Jiang Baiqing’s complicated expression, cautiously defended himself, “I don’t sleepwalk either; I sleep very well and don’t even turn over at night.”

Whenever Jiang Baiqing encountered Chen Chang’an, he couldn’t suppress his emotions, “Why do you care how I sleep?”

“Mainly because your expression looks like you’re very concerned about me, as if you’re afraid I might suddenly become violent at night.” Chen Chang’an said innocently, “Teacher Jiang, although I’m unreliable, I’m very kind, healthy, and optimistic. You really don’t need to worry so much.”

“I’m not worried.” Jiang Baiqing pressed his lips together.

“That’s great.” Chen Chang’an sincerely asked, “Can we discuss the script now?”

Jiang Baiqing slowly organized his clothes, “You seem obsessed with discussing the script.”

“Of course! It concerns my already limited reputation.” Chen Chang’an held the script in a prayer-like gesture, “Whether I become popular or embarrass myself tomorrow depends on you.”

“Alright.” Jiang Baiqing, being someone who enjoyed acting, was also afraid Chen Chang’an would pull some tricks, so he subtly warned, “Take it easy.”

Chen Chang’an completely misunderstood, “Don’t worry, Teacher Jiang, I won’t overshadow your performance, will I?”

Jiang Baiqing put down the script, stood up, and explained lightly, “I’m just afraid you might perform so poorly that it affects me.”

—

The great movie emperor was indeed a great movie emperor. When he walked up to Chen Chang’an, his aura completely transformed into that of the carefree Jiang Chengfeng in the story.

“Hey, I heard you like men?” He slightly raised his chin and asked arrogantly.

Chen Chang’an stumbled in his performance, nearly tripping over his own foot.

“Hey, don’t go.” Jiang Baiqing showed a frustrated expression, catching up to Chen Chang’an and blocking his path, “Don’t be afraid of me. I mean, liking men is fine; it’s not a reason for them to bully you.”

This part of the script didn’t have any lines, so Chen Chang’an didn’t know what to do.

Thus, he and Jiang Baiqing stared at each other for a long time, until the movie emperor couldn’t hold back first.

“Are you just going to stand there?” Jiang Baiqing frowned, “You don’t have any expression on your face?”

“What else should I do?” Chen Chang’an asked blankly.

Jiang Baiqing recited the description from the script: “‘How about ‘half’ and ‘half’? Can you express ‘left and right’?”

Chen Chang’an still didn’t understand, “How do you express ‘left and right’? Do my left hand and right hand fight?”

Jiang Baiqing couldn’t take it anymore, “Only your left and right hands can be used? Can’t you use your face?”

Chen Chang’an gasped, “Am I supposed to fight with my face and hands?”

“…What I mean is, you can make expressions.”

Chen Chang’an then started trying to make his lower eyelids fight with his upper eyelids.

“Do you not understand the character’s emotions?” Jiang Baiqing watched for a while and had to call a halt.

Chen Chang’an felt a bit embarrassed, “Oh no, you caught me! To be honest, I really don’t quite understand.”

Jiang Baiqing mercilessly exposed him, “Is that just a little misunderstanding? You don’t understand at all.”

Chen Chang’an thought he was doing okay, “Teacher Jiang, is my acting really that bad?”

“How should I put it?” Jiang Baiqing thought for a moment and gave a vivid answer, “You successfully played a role that has nothing in common with you.”

Chen Chang’an wilted, hanging his head and muttering, “Oh.”

He naturally had a strikingly beautiful face, and under the orange-yellow hotel lighting, it made one want to cherish him.

His hair had just been blown around outside, and his idiot hair was sticking up, but he was completely unaware.

Jiang Baiqing rubbed his fingers, “Rotten wood can be carved; as long as you put in the effort. If you want to learn, I can teach you.”

—

“I definitely want to.” Chen Chang’an quickly pleaded, “Please teach me, Teacher Jiang.”

However, when Jiang Baiqing demonstrated ‘left and right’, Chen Chang’an learned ‘looking left and right’.

Jiang Baiqing: “…It’s fine, let’s do it again.”

Chen Chang’an: “Still not working? Okay, okay, I’ll try harder!”

So Jiang Baiqing demonstrated ‘left and right’ again, and Chen Chang’an switched to learning ‘being in a dilemma’.

Ten minutes later, Jiang Baiqing looked up at the ceiling in disbelief: “Forget what I just said; I really can’t teach you. You’re not rotten wood; you’re titanium alloy.”

“Teacher Jiang, is there really no hope?” Chen Chang’an remained blindly optimistic.

“I’m afraid if I keep teaching, you might turn ‘left and right’ into ‘neighbors on the left and right’.”

Chen Chang’an exclaimed, “Is it really that bad? Is there no progress at all?”

Jiang Baiqing spoke the truth: “Everyone else is moving forward and backward, but you are just shifting left and right, from one thing you can’t do to another thing you can’t do. Listen to me, you should…”

While Jiang Baiqing was still lecturing, Chen Chang’an felt a bit sleepy. To keep his eyes focused, he started chasing after mosquitoes with his gaze.

During filming in the peak of summer, mosquitoes were flying around freely, and one particularly bold mosquito even landed on Jiang Baiqing’s chest, blatantly taking advantage of the movie emperor.

Chen Chang’an was feeling a bit dazed when he finally spotted a stationary mosquito and instinctively reached out to swat it.

With a loud “smack,” he hit the movie emperor’s chest muscle.

The air fell silent for three seconds, even the buzzing mosquito dared not fly away.

Jiang Baiqing himself was stunned by the slap, looking down at Chen Chang’an, “What do you mean?”

“There was a mosquito.” Chen Chang’an realized he had just slapped Jiang Baiqing and was equally stunned.

“Where?” Jiang Baiqing fixed his gaze on Chen Chang’an, as if he would send him out of the entertainment circle if he couldn’t point out where the mosquito was.

Chen Chang’an felt helpless; it was all an accident.

He stammered, “…I didn’t hit it; it flew away. Just now, it buzzed over there.”

He waved his hand slightly, trying to mimic the frequency of a mosquito’s wings.

“Like this, buzz buzz buzz, buzz buzz buzz…” As he looked at the movie emperor’s expression, his voice grew weaker.

Jiang Baiqing let out a cold laugh, “Do you think I would believe that?”

“How about you try believing it?”

“Don’t think you can be clever, Chen Chang’an.” Jiang Baiqing’s attitude towards Chen Chang’an was somewhat displeased, “I’ve seen many people like you before.”

Chen Chang’an was taken aback, “You get touched by people every day?”

“That’s not what I meant.” Jiang Baiqing was exasperated, “Do you think you’re being discreet? From the outfit incident to switching places, and now discussing the script.”

—And all the various details, Chen Chang’an’s inexplicable blinking greeting, and even the idiot hair that had just popped up, could all be part of his scheme!

—

Chen Chang’an inwardly cursed: Oh no, the movie emperor is starting to dig up old grievances.

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” He blinked his innocent big eyes, trying to muddle through.

“Aren’t you trying to seduce me?” Jiang Baiqing said, emphasizing the tone of his words.

That “me” echoed in the air for three days, leaving Chen Chang’an stunned: “What are you talking about? Why would I seduce you? I don’t even know your mother.”

“Do you think you’re funny?” Jiang Baiqing raised his eyes, a chill in the air.

“Sorry, I’m used to it; I always feel like there should be a joke here.” Chen Chang’an sincerely admitted his fault, “But I swear, I really didn’t mean to seduce you!”

“Alright, let me clarify: you keep creating various opportunities for contact, always looking at me with that pitiful, weak, and helpless expression, hoping I would exploit you?” Jiang Baiqing grew more pained as he spoke, “Let me tell you, that’s never going to happen.”

In Chen Chang’an’s eyes: wearing the same style was a leftover issue, switching places was to slack off, and discussing the script at night was to improve himself.

In Jiang Baiqing’s eyes: wearing the same style was to stir up rumors, switching places was to attract attention, and discussing the script at night was a hidden agenda.

No, how did things turn out like this?

Chen Chang’an was speechless for a while, struggling to regain his language system.

“Your idea is quite wonderful.” He paused, wearing an expression that was hard to describe, “But it’s unnecessary.”

Jiang Baiqing was at a loss for words: “So you mean, I misunderstood you?”

Of course! Chen Chang’an roared inwardly.

But he frantically denied, “How could that be!”

“Then what I said is correct?”

“Not exactly—” Chen Chang’an hurriedly tried to stop this dangerous thought, “It’s half and half.”

Jiang Baiqing questioned, “‘Half and half’?”

“You are fifty percent correct.” Chen Chang’an pondered for a moment and decided to take the bigger picture, “I do want to take advantage of you, but I just want to build a brotherhood with you. You’re so excellent; how could I expect you to exploit me? Absurd! Ignorant! A grave sin!”

Jiang Baiqing was stirred by his passionate outburst, yet he felt uncertain: “Wearing the same style is to hype up our brotherhood, so you want to switch places with me, the supporting role? You’ve been in the entertainment circle for so long, you can’t possibly not understand such a simple principle as the main character standing in the center, right?”

Chen Chang’an found himself at a dead end—he really didn’t understand.

He felt this couldn’t be blamed on him; Jiang Baiqing was in the entertainment circle, but Chen Chang’an had originally been in the extra circle—could these two be the same?

It was like both were learning to plant, one teaching how to grow roses, the other teaching how to plant scallions.

Chen Chang’an himself was just a scallion, taller than most people, with a brain that seemed non-existent.

After a long pause, he finally managed to say, “Teacher Jiang, I wasn’t trying to get your attention for nothing. This way, you’ll remember me, and it’ll be easier to hype up our brotherhood.”

“I do remember you, in a very special way.”

Jiang Baiqing let out an ambiguous chuckle, and alarm bells rang in Chen Chang’an’s mind.

“Teacher Jiang, let’s not beat around the bush; just tell me directly.”

Chen Chang’an closed his eyes, planning to throw caution to the wind and ask clearly what he needed to do for Jiang Baiqing to forgive him.

After all, this was just a misunderstanding; he truly had no intention of being supported by Jiang Baiqing!

Unexpectedly, after rearranging his words, he blurted out:

“What do I need to do for you to support me?”

The author has something to say:

[Irresponsible Idiom Short Story] The Map Reveals the Dagger

One day, Chen Chang’an presented a map to the movie emperor. When he opened the map, a dagger appeared at the end.

Movie Emperor: … The map reveals the dagger? Is he trying to assassinate me?

Chen Chang’an: Huh? How did this thing get rolled up in the map? No wonder I couldn’t find it when cutting fruit.